Monday, September 10, 2007

Five New Shows That Might Not Suck

Amazingly, TV in the past few years has been more consistent and entertaining than a good number of the movies released (Daddy Day Camp anyone?). So with the upcoming fall season, there are a decent number of shows that I will give a chance before flipping over to midget porn. Below are five that I am most looking forward to:

1.) Reaper (CW, Tuesdays at 9pm): Parents sell a kids soul to the devil and on his 21st birthday the devil comes to force him to work collecting escaped souls from hell. Uh ok.

Why it might not suck: The mix of the supernatural and the comedic always intrigues me. Few shows shoot for it straight on. The only one that I can think of was "Dead Like Me", but that tried too hard to be like "Six Feet Under". Plus the devil is always a hoot.

Why it might suck: Same reason. Comedy/Supernatural in a sitcom on the CW? I just made that face you make when you just finished a burrito from Chipotle and realize you are about to shit your pants.

2.) Pushing Daisies (ABC, Wednesdays at 8pm): Piemaker (what the fuck?) can bring people back to life with a single touch, and a second touch sends them back to a dirt nap.

Why it might not suck: Well it is by the "Dead Like Me" dude, and I was probably the only person to ever watch that show and enjoy it (I want to fuck the main character, I still can't figure out if she is hot or not). It seems pretty quirky and whimsical from the previews, which could be a plus.

Why it might suck: Did you read the plot synopsis? Quirky and whimsical doesn't usually go well in the flyover states. Most of them will just get hungry for pie and stumble into the kitchen to stuff their faces without watching the show.

3.) Bionic Woman (NBC, Wednesdays at 9pm): Remake of the 70s show that I'm not sure if that was a spinoff or ripoff of The Million Dollar Man.

Why it might not suck: Serial shows about people with superpowers are the new black. Heroes was amazingly awesome, and if this is half as good it might make it past the first season.

Why it might suck: The actress who plays the main character seems to be extremely terrible. I saw a preview and she had the personality of a drugged up Paris Hilton. So, that could cause it to be laughably bad.

4.) Dirty Sexy Money (ABC, Wednesdays at 10pm): Soapy show about rich people with too much money. I hope someone accidentally kills a hooker or two. That's always fun.

Why it might not suck: Peter Krause is pretty awesome, as is Donald Sutherland. Plus, anytime the preview includes a character using "you are all poor" as a retort gets a thumbs up in my book.

Why it might suck: Soapy shows get out of hand quickly. Just ask David E. Kelley.

5.) Chuck (NBC, Mondays at 8pm): Computer nerd has government secrets downloaded into his head (no it isn't Keanu Reeves) and helps sexy agent fight terrorism. Whoa.

Why it might not suck: The guy who did the O.C. did this show. Now, I didn't watch the O.C. (I swear!) but everyone else our age in America pissed their pants over the show. So I guess it might be good. The chick is really hot and geeks are in nowadays.

Why it might suck: The guy who did the O.C. did this show. 'Nuff said.

So with that list in place, I can now lie on my couch with my hand down my pants, prepared to declare what sucks and what doesn't.

If you watch this you will go to hell

I like to consider myself fairly handicap friendly. I volunteered at the Special Olympics and heard a stirring Karaoke rendition of "Feel Like Making Love". This little nugget would make Cartman blush. If you haven't seen Boys on Wheels, it is not for the faint of heart. The first time I watched, I thought I was watching some new Kids in the Hall sketch. Is that Scott Thompson mumble-singing? Is that Paul Bellini playing keyboards? What are those funny noises coming out their mouths?
I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Obviously they are in on the joke. They are getting paid to exploit their handicap. I know this could never happen in the U.S. and that's too bad. Just like Timmy and the Lords' of the Underworld, they are making people deal with something that most of us would prefer to look the other way at. I don't know if this group has much of a future but hopefully they will be coming to a bar near you soon.