Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Observations made at Yankee Stadium

So yesterday I was back at the buzzsaw that is Yankee Stadium with three Yankee fans in tow. Scary huh? Yes, very scary.

Some thoughts:

1.) There weren't as many Red Sox fans as last time I was there. I was kind of surprised, I thought more would come out of the woodwork to do a little gentle ribbing of Yankee fans.

2.) There were a ton more of those "26-6" shirts. Yes, I am well aware that the Yankees won 26 World Series and the Red Sox have only won 6. Insecure much?

3.) Most fans in the upper deck seemed more intent on watching a fucking squirrel on top of the foul pole. I swear they were cheering louder for the squirrel than anything else. The morons in front of me literally had a 20 minute conversation about the decision making process of the squirrel and when it would come down. I swear to God. I was quietly hoping it would jump to it's death.

Seriously, the fans didn't really seem into the game. As noted by the guy next to me, "I can't even get a Boston Sucks chant going". Geez, what is the world coming to nowadays?

4.) J.D. Drew hates the following things: America, freedom, puppy dogs, swinging the bat, etc.

Seriously, I hope he dies in a fire. He sucks so bad that he made Manny make that error. (Note: Not really, Manny was also distracted by the squirrel. After the game he chased it around the field for two hours.)

5.) After Johnny Damon hit his home run, one of the moron fans in the row in front of me turned and actually said:

"He used to play for you!"

Wow. Did he think I didn't know? Was I supposed to be surprised? Seriously, that is the best you can come up with? With cutting wit like that he can probably work for YES. I'm pretty sure that is more intelligent than anything Michael Kay has said in at least two years.

6.) Another gem from the fans in front of me, who I started to suspect might be mentally retarded:

After Dice-K gave up a run in the first: "I'm glad we didn't pay him all that money. Geez, what a waste."

The utter stupidity of that statement almost made blood shoot of my nose. Actually Kei Igawa stopped selling peanuts and smacked him in the back of the head. I think that guy should work for the Yankee front office. Actually I would give him a letter of recommendation.

7.) Joba is a stupid name. Where in the fuck are parents coming up with these names? I'd rather abort my child than have my wife name it Joba.

So that was my adventure at Yankee Stadium. As always, the fans showed class and intelligence. To quote Rodney Dangerfield, "Lovely boy -- Now I know why tigers eat their young."

Monday, August 27, 2007

Understanding in a FFL trainwreck

OK - the dust has settled, and I'm finally able to discuss the hot mess that was my first Fantasy Football draft of the year. I'm also going to attempt to post more here, and this is as good a start as any . . . it's that time of year, to make money off retards (aka "friends").

The squad (obviously "Bad Newz Kennels") shaped up as such, starting with the #5 overall pick in a 12-team money league with only about 2 real decent players and basically standard scoring with a slight emphasis on TD passes (QB yardage could also be huge, but tough to exploit):

1. (5) Joseph Addai RB
2. (20) Maurice Jones-Drew RB
3. (29) Chad Johnson WR
4. (44) Lee Evans WR
5. (53) Donald Driver WR
6. (68) Philip Rivers QB
7. (77) Chris Cooley TE
8. (92) LenDale White RB
9. (101) Vernand Morency RB
10. (116) D.J. Hackett WR
11. (125) Donte' Stallworth WR
12. (140) Alge Crumpler TE
13. (149) Stephen Gostkowski K
14. (164) Byron Leftwich QB
15. (173) Oakland DEF

Note that at #5 I had the choice of Gore or Addai - although Pro Football Prospectus's KUBIAK ratings have Gore #1 overall (Addai is still top-5), I couldn't pull the trigger, instead choosing the (relatively) steady production that has followed Colts skill players over the last few years. This pick may come back to haunt me.

The lap back essentially made me choose between Jones-Drew and Chad Johnson, which really wasn't difficult considering the league includes scores for special teams TDs to the actual player, and plus I got Ocho Cinco on the way back anyway (because I play with tards - +EV uber alles).

My plan this season in FFL is to go for low-risk players at the top of the draft for RB/WR, then try to take a flier on a QB - the hope was that either McNabb or Vince Young's stupid ass would fall to me in the 5th, which may be slightly greedy, but I know pretty much exactly what I'll get out of Rivers every week so I'm not quite punching myself in the sack (yet).

Also, I want high-variance, high-reward backups as filler - guys like Morency and White are probably only playable against the very worst defenses, but luckily I have a fantastic subscription to to fill me in on when this will happen (COLTS), i.e. the Ron Dayne Corollary.

Hackett and Stallworth are veritable shots in the dark, as I'm not 100% sold on Driver in the WR/RB hole - hopefully one gets hot and I can ship ship mcgipp for a RB in that slot. Matchups are really weak at WR (unless, you know, Champ Bailey), so I've kind of hamstrung myself there, but obviously it will be super easy to cut any of those schmoes for the flavor of the week.

In this league I also made a stark error by not playing for an earlier defense - BAL and CHI outscored all but about 10 players last season by the scoring system we're using, and while neither will repeat that, I should have done a little more homework. Oakland's D should benefit from a craptacular schedule, though, and could be a solid sleeper here. Alternately, I'll just play the "whoever plays the Texans/Browns" game at DEF and should wind up OK.

Many of the ESPN "sleepers" were getting ripped really early - I would read everything on and pay attention, and devalue your own expectations to match. A guy like Lee Evans is somehow undervalued, while (non-rapist) Chris Henry went in the 7th and Vincent Jackson in the 8th.

Monday, August 20, 2007

RIP Phil Rizzuto

Phil Rizzuto recently passed away at the age of 89, and since his death there have been thousands of words written about his importance to the Yankees, both as a player and later as a broadcaster. This post probably will not break any new ground, but instead be a rememberance from my childhood and early years as a Yankees fan.

When I think about my first experiences watching Yankees games, the first thing I think of is Rizzuto's voice as he called the games. Scooter, Tom Seaver, Bill White and Frank Messer called the games and were, in my opinion, the best announcing team the Yankees have compiled in my time as a fan. Rizzuto was the ultimate homer; he had played for the team during the glory days of the 40's and 50's, and did nothing to hide the fact that he was rooting for the Yanks to win every game. It was through his announcing that I learned about the team, to root for Mattingly, Winfield, Randolph, Tommy John, and later, Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter. His exclamations of "Holy Cow!" and "Can you believe it?!" were hardly original, but didn't sound the same to us Yankees fans if they were coming from anyone else (Cubs fans and others, feel free to disagree). He'd talk about local restaurants, where to find the best cannolis, his beloved wife Cora, and his need to leave during the 7th inning to beat the traffic (or sometimes, the thunder and lightning storms he so feared).

Mostly, though, he'd talk about his love of the Yankees. His stories, combined with my dad's rememberances from his childhood, set the basis for my interest in the team's history, about guys like Mickey Mantle and Joe DiMaggio, but also players largely forgotten by history, like Tony Kubek, Gene Woodling, and Joe Page. His presence connected the present day Yankees to the classic teams, especially important during the near-misses of the late 80's and lean years of the early 90's. During that time, when such luminaries as Andy Hawkins took the mound, all the Yankees had was their history.

Somehow, Yankees games weren't the same once he retired, and now, the Yankees won't be the same because he is gone. Rest in peace Scooter, and thanks for helping make me a lifelong Yankees fan.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Should I start watching Soccer?

The question popped into my head today. At first I was horrified and thought that perhaps I have some terrible brain disease that will slowly turn me into Hugh Grant only more gay. Then I thought some more, and realized that everyone outside this country is madly insane about this "sport". Is there something to it? I watched the World Cup, and it was sorta exciting. I mean I fell alseep during most of the matches, but I do the same thing on Sunday's during football season (unless the Bills are on, then I curse and throw things).

Since the EPL just kicked off their season, maybe I should check it out. I need to choose a team though. I know that Bill Simmons did his whole, "vote on which team he should root for" and we all know he probably hasn't watched a match since. Plus, no one reads this I doubt anyone has an opinion. I need someone to point me in the right direction.

I started by reading David Hirsey's closer on Deadspin today, and I was happy I could sorta understand what he was talking about. I need to find some season previews and perhaps start watching the EPL channel on Time Warner.

My only rules for myself are that I can't root for Arsenal, Man U, or Chelsea. We all know that is like rooting for the Yankees or Lakers while you have no connection to either team besides the fact that they win and rape white women (or men in A-Rod's case). My boss does that, and I doubt his manhood.

So that leaves:

This might be difficult.

Oh noes! Blog Neglect

So yeah, seems like no one has been updating this lately. I am going to try really hard to do a better job at least updating it with something once a day, even though no one reads it, nor should they.

Here is what you missed if you live under a rock like that guy in the sprint commerical:

1.) A giant headed monster who hates you broke the homerun record. I was sleeping when it happened, then when I saw the highlights on ESPN and I was just happy that Pedro Gomez could see his family again. Not really, I actually hope Pedro kills himself.

2.) The Yankees are creeping closer to the Red Sox. At the moment, four games out. We picked up Eric Gange and he promptly shit the bed and the bed next to him. I'll be over here banging my head against the wall. Feel free to join.

3.) Michael Vick continues to be fucked. Proper fucked, as he is suspended the entire year.

4.) I went home to Arizona to visit the folks. My dad has his first drink at noon. Good for him, I want to retire.

5.) I saw The Ten and Bourne Ultimatum. Matt Damon rocks some shit, and somewhere Ben Affleck masturbates while crying to an old copy of the Good Will Hunting screenplay. The Ten has flashes of brilliance followed by sheer oddness that aren't that funny. Note: Don't let anyone tell you that the prison rape sketch isn't funny. They are lying, prison rape is always hilarious.
6.) Mitt Romney is gaining steam and apparently Hil-Rod is as well. Both frighten me on some level. Sorta like those face grabbers in Aliens. I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney has some secret plan to attach to my face a lay Mormon eggs in my chest, then on election day it will explode from chest and vote republican. The horror.

More to come.....