So yesterday I was back at the buzzsaw that is Yankee Stadium with three Yankee fans in tow. Scary huh? Yes, very scary.
1.) There weren't as many Red Sox fans as last time I was there. I was kind of surprised, I thought more would come out of the woodwork to do a little gentle ribbing of Yankee fans.
2.) There were a ton more of those "26-6" shirts. Yes, I am well aware that the Yankees won 26 World Series and the Red Sox have only won 6. Insecure much?
3.) Most fans in the upper deck seemed more intent on watching a fucking squirrel on top of the foul pole. I swear they were cheering louder for the squirrel than anything else. The morons in front of me literally had a 20 minute conversation about the decision making process of the squirrel and when it would come down. I swear to God. I was quietly hoping it would jump to it's death.
Seriously, the fans didn't really seem into the game. As noted by the guy next to me, "I can't even get a Boston Sucks chant going". Geez, what is the world coming to nowadays?
4.) J.D. Drew hates the following things: America, freedom, puppy dogs, swinging the bat, etc.
Seriously, I hope he dies in a fire. He sucks so bad that he made Manny make that error. (Note: Not really, Manny was also distracted by the squirrel. After the game he chased it around the field for two hours.)
5.) After Johnny Damon hit his home run, one of the moron fans in the row in front of me turned and actually said:
"He used to play for you!"
Wow. Did he think I didn't know? Was I supposed to be surprised? Seriously, that is the best you can come up with? With cutting wit like that he can probably work for YES. I'm pretty sure that is more intelligent than anything Michael Kay has said in at least two years.
6.) Another gem from the fans in front of me, who I started to suspect might be mentally retarded:
After Dice-K gave up a run in the first: "I'm glad we didn't pay him all that money. Geez, what a waste."
The utter stupidity of that statement almost made blood shoot of my nose. Actually Kei Igawa stopped selling peanuts and smacked him in the back of the head. I think that guy should work for the Yankee front office. Actually I would give him a letter of recommendation.
7.) Joba is a stupid name. Where in the fuck are parents coming up with these names? I'd rather abort my child than have my wife name it Joba.
So that was my adventure at Yankee Stadium. As always, the fans showed class and intelligence. To quote Rodney Dangerfield, "Lovely boy -- Now I know why tigers eat their young."