ROUND ONE: FIGHT

It's that time of the year, yet again - just like the salmon of Capistrano, we return to our embryonic chrysalis seeking warmth, WHIP and some of our friends' moderately hard-earned money. Like the first robin of spring, the first fantasy draft brings a mixture of hope and expectation (both in terms of "looking forward" and also "expected value"), along with drinking beer in the morning and making fun of the guy who drafts David Eckstein (11th round in this draft; best lines included "Is 'getting blown by Joe Buck' a category?' and "finally, someone shorter than Conklin" among many, many others).

This is a money league; small time though, $20 entry/10 teams/both leagues, with the following categories:
Batting: R, H, HR, RBI, SB, BB, K, AVG
Pitching: IP, W, L, SV, BB, K, ERA, WHIP

Let's just start off by saying the draft went pretty damn well:

Stop Snitching Andy

View All

Round	Pick	Player	Position
1.	(5)	Hanley Ramírez	SS
2.	(16)	David Wright	3B
3.	(25)	Brian Roberts	2B
4.	(36)	Mark Teixeira	1B
5.	(45)	Adam Dunn	OF
6.	(56)	Cole Hamels	SP
7.	(65)	Chris Young	OF
8.	(76)	Dan Haren	SP
9.	(85)	John Smoltz	SP
10.	(96)	Nick Markakis	OF
11.	(105)	Francisco Cordero	RP
12.	(116)	Brett Myers	SP,RP
13.	(125)	Nick Swisher	1B,OF
14.	(136)	Matt Cain	SP
15.	(145)	Matt Kemp	OF
16.	(156)	Rafael Soriano	RP
17.	(165)	Derek Lowe	SP
18.	(176)	Jarrod Saltalamacchia	C,1B
19.	(185)	Stephen Drew	SS
20.	(196)	Randy Johnson	SP
21.	(205)	Lastings Milledge	OF

Yep - winners go home and fuck the prom queen, but not after getting perhaps the second-best fantasy player alive with the 16th pick, after getting a consensus top-5 guy at #5 also. Thanks to Baseball Prospectus's invaluable Player Forecast Manager utility, I wound up with the guys ranked at #s 1, 3, 12, 18, 20, 21, 27 and 28. That's the equivalent of picking 8 times in the first three rounds, and not even Chris Wallace or Steve Phillips could fuck that one up.

At every position, I wind up with a premium player, and even get to take a shot at some high-upside guys in Kemp and Milledge. I bought low on Randy Johnson and might squeeze a great half-season, and that's the kind of arbitrage I simply can't pass up. The Steve Drew pick is likely shitty, but I sort of panicked and put on the baseball equivalent of a "handcuff" to Hanley in case of injury. I should win steals every week, and although Dunn and Hanley will make it tough to win batting K's every week, the increase in every counting category should make my hitters unbeatable.

Beyond that, I have a solid, moderate-risk staff, with some superstar potential in Hamels and Myers and Haren (even though all pitch in bandboxes) and the ability to move from strength for more as the season goes on. I just got hard talking about it - I feel like Enzyte Bob, except I get to live freely for the next 20 or so years of my life.