Turns out fatass David Wells has diabetes. Hey, guess 20 to 30 years of destructive alcohol abuse and having everything you eat fried to a crisp first eventually causes your body to fall apart like the Nazi at the end of The Last Crusade.
This should serve as a warning to every tub o lard in this country who thinks there is nothing wrong with not having seen your penis in 5 years. Your actions have consequences. Shocker, I know. Knowing David Wells he probably won't change and lose both legs and his sight by the end of the year after going on a 3 week bender.
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"Rubbing up against her was really quite amazing . . . the conversation was quite banal, and that's a shocker"
--the Toasters
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