Rangers/Royals Spring Training Game

You might look at the title and say, "why in the holy hell would any watch that?".

I wish I had an answer. I was bored, and as I am in Arizona, I figured I would go watch some baseball to prepare for the new season.

A few observations:

1.) Sammy Sosa hits a home run and all I can think about is that moronic commercial with that dude going "Sammmmmy Soooosa" in a mexican accent, and then Sammy crushes his head with his fist while snorting roids. Err, maybe it happened differently.

2.) There are still Royals fans?!?!? Why wasn't I told, and what the hell are these people cheering about? Odalis Perez? I hope not, that would just be sad and make baby jesus cry.

3.) Mike Sweeney is still a fat ass. He did hit a home run. I cared so little, I almost passed out.

4.) Octavio Dotel is now on the Royals. What a sad end. It is kinda like seeing a porn star past her prime in a new movie, but she doesn't take her clothes off, and you are really relieved. You know, if you watch porn (of course I don't, uhhhh, stop staring at me).

5.) The Royals and the Texans share a spring training facility in Surprise, Arizona. This is the most random pairing ever. Who decided this? I blame Bush.

6.) Surprise is about what you expect it to be. Middle of fucking nowhere, but there is a Starbucks on every corner and old people in golf carts. And people wonder why America is slowly rotting away on the inside.

7.) They introduced Michael Young, and my dad thought they said Nitro Young. My family is retarded. Although I am going to start calling him that because it sounds like a villain in a Arnold movie. Arnold would probably break his neck and say something snappy.

8.) Kansas City won 7-5. We left in the eighth.

All and all a funny experience. I had a beer and saw the hottest chick ever. I mean just unreal. So I would consider the day a draw.

P.S. Note to Royals Fans: you must hate life. I mean just give up.