Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Five Movie Characters I Wouldn't Mind Being

So we were talking about this at work the other day, and most people didn't get my list of characters I would want to be. Most pretty much reflect my own personality and while they don't have money or women, you would hang out with them or be killed by them. I think my choices are pretty awesome, and if you don't think so, you might suck.

5.) Jules Winnfield (Pulp Fiction)

Listen, if you don't dig the sweet afro and the pretty sound relationship advice, what is your problem? The guy could probably talk you into anything, and then if you still didn't agree...shoot you in the face. Plus he appreciates a good cup of motherfucking coffee.

4.) Joe Hallenbeck (The Last Boy Scout)

This is probably my favorite early 90s action movie. It was written by the same guy who wrote Lethal Weapon, and is quite hilarious. Joe is a cynical asshole who really seems to hate life (sound familiar?). The good news is that he always has a smart ass remark, no matter what the situation and could probably break your arm when you aren't looking. Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're going to lose. Smile you fuck.

3.) Billy Madison (Billy Madison)

Listen, the guy spent a good part of his life goofing off and drinking with his friends (not to mention the weekly edition of Drunk Chicks). In the end he still gets Bridgette Wilson despite that damn penguin. The blue duck thinks that's quacktastic.

2.) Rick Blaine (Casablanca)

No matter what people try to tell you, this movie is still one of the best around. Really, rent it. It is hard to find a movie nowadays that doesn't have a happy ending or have things wrapped up neatly at the end. In the center of it all is Rick Blaine, probably one of the best movie characters ever. Hangs out at a bar, is friends with the corrupt cops, and is cool under pressure. Just remember, he never actually says, "play it again Sam" in the movie.

1.) Irwin "Fletch" Fletcher (Fletch)

Yeah sure, Chevy Chase is an bastard who did enough coke in the 80s to make Paris Hilton blush. But you can't beat his movie roles during that time period. None better than Fletch. Seriously, this guy could talk his way into anything and make everyone in the room look stupid while doing it. If you are a guy and don't love this movie, you might want to question your manhood. If you are a girl and love this movie, I'm pretty sure we should get married. Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

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